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You and your buddy might both be tops, or you might be a side. Or maybe you just don’t have time to prepare for penetration - and we get it. That shouldn’t stop you from making a connection when the moment hits. "Our bodies’ natural bacterial balance can easily be thrown off by the foreign bacteria lodged in the crevices of toys or food," Switzer says. You don’t get to know whether you’re making a mistake by opening up the relationship, or by keeping it closed. Some couples break up over nonmonogamy, others over monogamy, and still more over issues that had nothing to do with the relationship structure.

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That FOMO you describe will be with you, regardless of which path you take, until you tackle where the FOMO is coming from itself. The transparency you want to proceed with requires introspection on your end about these subjects. From there, it might take some time (or it might happen on your first date) to find someone who is as open to discussing the details of sex and dating desires as you are. Safer dating guidelines include letting a trusted friend know where you are, who you’re with, and when to expect to hear from you. If you go to their home or a hotel, let your trusted friend know about the change in location and keep track of where your belongings are in case you need to grab your purse and shoes and exit quickly. There are dating sites and apps that attract people who are looking for, or even simply open to, the kind of casual sex you say you’re looking for.

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